


I'll be watching you

by NatalieRyan



Series: Whumptober 2020 [24]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Aftermath, Blood, Breaking down, Comfort, Day 24, Description of blood, Drugged Jack, Emotional Whump, Gen, Hurt Mac, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mac Whump, Rape, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Stalking, Trauma, Whump, Whumptober 2020, drugged Mac, semi-graphic description of rape/non-con, traumatic haircuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: We’ve come to the point of the month where I’ll be scrambling to finish all the rest of the fics for Whumptober because I spent some time writing this one. I thought I’d have more time, and I was definitely aware it’ll be long. I would have never guessed it would be 18k words long.So, after four days non-stop writing and putting everything on hold, I have the story finished and ready.Few things about this story:-First and foremost, and where this story gets its rating and warnings, is what happens once Mac is kidnapped. The stalker rapes Mac multiple times. And please, heed the tags, they are there to warn you, and I mean it. READ THE TAGS!!! Read at your own risk (and I know my notes are always super long, but I ask you all to read them, and keep both eyes open while you do). There’s semi-graphic description of what happens as well as the sensations, it’s not super explicit, but if you are not up to read that kind of topic, or don’t want to read it, either skip that part, or skip the fic altogether. My accent is more on the events leading up to the kidnapping and the after, but just in case it’s a put off, please back away from the fic.-Second, in this story, Mac has a stalker. He is sending Mac messages, emails, follows him, takes pics of him and ultimately he leaves him a gift that leads to the guy kidnapping Mac. There’s a POV switch between the stalker, Mac and Jack.Third, it’s set somewhere in s3, and keep in mind that I’ve changed few of the events such as James is not a part of this ‘verse, Nasha is a very good friend of Mac’s instead of his girlfriend, and the reason why Mac went to Nigeria was that he was still on a medical leave for an injury and still kept in touch with the team, and the Mexico op ended up with Jack being injured. There’s mentions of these events at some point so just a tiny heads up in case you are wondering.Thank you Thistle, for the never ending support of my ideas, for letting me brainstorm on this one with you ever since it was just a tiny idea in my head and all I knew was that Mac was going to have a stalker, up to discussing the details, and leading to the finished product which is this monster, 18k fic. Thanks for the beta and the title as well.Without a further ado, I’m leaving y’all with the longest one shot I’ve written so far and with that the longest Whumptober story.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579
Comments: 16
Kudos: 43
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I'll be watching you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts).



> We’ve come to the point of the month where I’ll be scrambling to finish all the rest of the fics for Whumptober because I spent some time writing this one. I thought I’d have more time, and I was definitely aware it’ll be long. I would have never guessed it would be 18k words long.   
> So, after four days non-stop writing and putting everything on hold, I have the story finished and ready.   
> Few things about this story:  
> -First and foremost, and where this story gets its rating and warnings, is what happens once Mac is kidnapped. The stalker rapes Mac multiple times. And please, heed the tags, they are there to warn you, and I mean it. READ THE TAGS!!! Read at your own risk (and I know my notes are always super long, but I ask you all to read them, and keep both eyes open while you do). There’s semi-graphic description of what happens as well as the sensations, it’s not super explicit, but if you are not up to read that kind of topic, or don’t want to read it, either skip that part, or skip the fic altogether. My accent is more on the events leading up to the kidnapping and the after, but just in case it’s a put off, please back away from the fic.   
> -Second, in this story, Mac has a stalker. He is sending Mac messages, emails, follows him, takes pics of him and ultimately he leaves him a gift that leads to the guy kidnapping Mac. There’s a POV switch between the stalker, Mac and Jack.   
> Third, it’s set somewhere in s3, and keep in mind that I’ve changed few of the events such as James is not a part of this ‘verse, Nasha is a very good friend of Mac’s instead of his girlfriend, and the reason why Mac went to Nigeria was that he was still on a medical leave for an injury and still kept in touch with the team, and the Mexico op ended up with Jack being injured. There’s mentions of these events at some point so just a tiny heads up in case you are wondering.  
> Thank you Thistle, for the never ending support of my ideas, for letting me brainstorm on this one with you ever since it was just a tiny idea in my head and all I knew was that Mac was going to have a stalker, up to discussing the details, and leading to the finished product which is this monster, 18k fic. Thanks for the beta and the title as well.   
> Without a further ado, I’m leaving y’all with the longest one shot I’ve written so far and with that the longest Whumptober story.

He was so beautiful. Mark couldn't take his eyes off of him as the man Mark was watching sauntered to another man with something from the snack aisle and they both laughed at something Mac said.

Mac. That was his name. Mark learned it with the help of one of his college buddies that he kept close for stuff like that. It also worked in Mark's favor that the guy was a private investigator. 

Don't get him wrong, Mark knew how to get around a computer and cover his tracks. But there was something exhilarating about sending one of his friends to track down the person Mark very much wanted to get to know better. 

And do other things, but that was for later. He was going to have to approach Mac first. 

So far they met only once and Mark remembered fondly that Mac was a klutz, tripping and almost falling into Mark's lap. He was all shy and kept apologizing and something settled deep inside Mark when Mac looked up at him with those sweet eyes. 

Tall, blond and handsome with killer blue eyes. 

And Mark was going to make sure Mac noticed him. 

Jealousy and rage settled deep inside Mark as he watched Mac and his companion laugh over something else. They were in a good mood and the brunet put his hand on Mac's forearm. Mark crushed the bag of rice in his hands at the touch. No one except him was supposed to touch Mac. 

In his anger he left the crushed bag on the aisle and stormed off to his car. He was going to wait for Mac and his “friend” to make it out of the supermarket. He had some time to cool down from his anger, he knew better than to drive while angry. And when Mac and his shadow got in one of the cars they usually traveled with, the GTO today, Mark followed them at a safe distance. 

…

Mac was having fun teasing Jack about the chips, just as he picked up the ones with barbecue sauce. Jack gave as good as he got and they continued to poke some fun about snacks when Mac felt something. He couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, but it made him shudder and he stopped in place, trying to tune out the steps and chatter around him as people were doing their own grocery shopping. Focusing on that particular feeling where he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand to an end, Mac didn't hear that Jack was talking to him until his partner was next to him and was touching Mac to get Mac's attention. 

“Hey, earth to Mac.”

Mac shook himself out of his thoughts and the eerie feeling of someone watching him as he turned to Jack. 

“Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking is all.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah. I'm good.” 

“Maybe I should have kept you at home for a little while, huh? You still seem confused.” 

“Jack, it was just a concussion. I'm fine. It's the best idea you've had this week. I needed to get out for a bit.” 

“I don't know. I'm still worried.” 

“Worst case scenario will be for me to feel sick. And I have you next to me. I'm not scared.” 

“You better not be planning to hurl in my car, dude.”

“Pinky swear.”

Mac grinned and he felt better once he subtly did a sweep and found no one watching him. 

They finished shopping and he chalked up the feeling to paranoia, maybe Jack and his permanent worry were rubbing off on Mac. Or maybe it was the fact that he was still feeling woozy even though he followed all recovery steps. 

Once at the parking lot, Mac once again felt the eyes on his back. He tried not to show it, he really didn't want to worry Jack with something that could be nothing, but he was feeling uneasy at the prospect of someone watching him. 

The feeling of uneasiness followed him throughout the day, and Mac barely managed to stop himself from telling Jack about it. The last thing he wanted was for Jack to hover harder. Besides, Jack needed some reprieve from always taking care of Mac. 

Instead, Mac took it easy, helping Jack with lunch (and actually didn't burn anything), and by the time Bozer came home from work and brought Riley with him, they had lunch ready for an army. 

Mac looked out of the window just as a car was driving off and Mac didn't know why, but that made him shudder again. 

…

It had been a month since Mark met Mac and Mac didn't notice him. It was frustrating and unnerving and Mark didn't know what else he was supposed to do. Other people noticed him. They said hi, out of politeness not that they cared much about him, but he wasn't exactly the type that went unnoticed. He spent time at the gym working on his six-pack, started dressing like Mac's friend, even let his hair grow out in a similar fashion, thinking that with that look would get Mac to at least look at him. 

Whenever they were in close proximity Mac didn't even seem to realize Mark was there as well. He was always with someone, but mostly the brunet whose name Mark learned was Jack. 

Jack obviously was important to Mac and whenever they were in close proximity Mac was glowing. 

Mark didn't get a confirmation, but in his mind, Jack and Mac were an item. And obviously Jack was making him happy. But no one would make Mac as happy as Mark would. He could see it, they often teased him and they didn't let him show his creativity. They were mean to him. Mark wouldn't do that. He would treat him better. 

Mark waited long enough to initiate contact. It was time. 

…

When Mac got the first message during one of the team's briefings in his house, he didn't give it too much thought. It wasn't something he usually encountered, for an unknown number to send him a message. 

Their phones were encrypted, and Riley made sure that no one except themselves and people they trusted had their numbers. Not that Mac went out and gave his number to just anyone. But sometimes form submitting to online sites led to him having to leave a phone number for contact. Sometimes servers and web pages were hacked, and many people could easily get a hold of Mac's phone number. 

It was still unnerving when he opened it and read the text. It was only one sentence, “ _ Hello, beautiful _ ”. Nothing more. And the number wasn't listed in Mac's contacts nor was there a name or something that could tell Mac who sent it. 

Mac spent the night thinking about the message and its meaning. It could have been an ex-girlfriend, although Mac didn't have many relationships throughout the years. And Mac doubted that any of his exes would want to initiate contact after so long. 

And there was the wording, the way it was said. Mac was no language expert, but whoever sent him the message probably knew him. You didn't just guess about a person and send a random message to them, hoping they would answer you. 

Mac left the message unanswered, he didn't need that on top of other things going on in his life. Besides, what was he going to reply? “Thanks, but no thanks?” 

Mac could tell that Jack was watching him and knew his partner was onto him, but there was nothing to worry about. It was just a harmless message that for all Mac knew, it could have been just a mistake. 

So he didn't think too much of it and let it rest. 

…

The next time he got a message from the same number, it was early in the morning. They had just come home from their latest mission and Mac was about to crash and sleep until he couldn't feel the bruises anymore when his message notification sound pinged. 

Mac cursed himself for not turning his phone on silent before going to bed. It was close to 6 am and unless the world was ending, Matty wouldn't send a message at ass o'clock in the morning after cutting it close with the latest mission. And neither would Jack or Riley. Mac was pretty sure Bozer was already conked out. 

Mac carefully turned around and palmed the night stand until he found his phone. 

_ “The sun is about to start shining bright above LA. Hope you'll have a great day.” _

Mac had to squint to read the message, because his screen was too bright against the dark of his room (Mac pulled all the curtains and blinds because he definitely needed to rest and light was distracting and making his head hurt). 

He left the phone on top of the covers as he tried to gather his thoughts. Once was a coincidence. Twice was what? What were the odds that someone would get the same wrong number twice in such a short time? 

Mac couldn't stop thinking about the message when there was another ping. 

_ “It's already happening. I'm watching as the change happens, hoping we are seeing the same thing.” _

Mac's heart started beating wildly in his chest. There was another message and this one was officially the third one he got from the same number. He wasn't planning to reply, but he now was officially wondering who was sending them. 

The longer Mac stayed in bed, the more he stared at the ceiling. The messages didn't let him think of anything else and where he was ready to sleep half an hour ago, now he was wide awake. 

Without giving it much thought, Mac picked his phone up and dialed Jack. 

Jack, bless his soul, picked up on the second ring.

“Mac? What's up?” 

Mac exhaled in relief. Just listening to Jack's voice made him feel more at ease. 

“Something wrong?”

Jack sounded like he was tired and would rather be sleeping, but Mac also knew that everything else came second to Jack. Mac was his first priority, on and off the clock. Mac felt like he was using that by calling Jack so early when they both needed some rest. But he was feeling off and Jack always knew how to fix things. 

“Hoss?” 

Mac belatedly realized that he checked out and Jack sounded worried. 

“I can't sleep. I didn't know what to do, so I called you.” 

“You did good, buddy. Anything in particular that prevents you from sleeping?” 

Mac thought of the messages and their possible meaning, but decided not to mention them. He shrugged and then realized Jack couldn't see him. 

“Dunno.” 

“I'm here for some talk, dude. You know I can't shut up. This is my home ground.” 

Mac chuckled. 

“That it is.” 

They talked for about an hour before Mac fell asleep, his phone on speaker, listening to Jack's voice droning on and on about one story or other, just like Jack always did. 

…

Mark was enjoying his personal collection of pictures he had taken of Mac in the duration of the month and a half since he met Mac. He really loved the pictures where Mac smiled or was caught mid-laugh. The man was glowing and that was showing on his features. Making him even more beautiful. Mark was really fond of Mac's smiles. And the sass. He learned that Mac was a sassy guy and Mark liked that. 

He didn't like those moments when Mac was tired. It was making him look older and the more he got to know Mac, Mark realized that Mac was in the wrong business. 

Mark couldn't confirm his suspicions, but the way Mac disappeared sometimes, for a day or two and wouldn't return his texts, it made Mark's blood boil even more. Especially when Mac returned exhausted and hurt, sometimes limping, sometimes with bruises. 

Not that Mac answered his other messages, but Mark gave him time. Mac would come around. He would return Mark's feelings. Once he realized that the people Mac kept around were toxic for him, that they made it impossible for Mac to advance without them keeping him away from doing great things, Mark knew that Mac would see that he meant well. Mark couldn't wait for that day. Till then, he would make things easier for Mac. Keep people at bay and try to make him smile. 

Once he sent a message during a day out with his friends. He was carefully hidden behind a tree, watching Mac as he was having a picnic with Jack and the others, peals of laughter tearing the silence as they all tried to play frisbee and were feeding the stray dogs and cats milling around. 

When Mac picked up his phone to read the message, Mark expected a smile when he heard the words. Instead Mac frowned and pocketed his phone. His laughter was subdued ever since then, the smile was more dimmed. Mark didn't understand why, he did everything right. Perhaps Mac was confused, maybe he didn't know who was sending the messages. Mark decided that he probably should sign his messages with something, so Mac would know who was talking to him. Perhaps Mac would reply to it then. 

Mark took some more pictures for his collection. 

…

Mac was starting to jump out of his skin. It was starting to get serious, the longer he went on without answering the messages. It wasn't like Mac wanted to answer, but whoever sent them, probably waited for one. 

It was way past the accidental messages phase, and Mac hated to admit, but he had to say it. He had to lay down the facts that someone was trying to talk to him and despite Mac outright ignoring them, he had to admit that this was bordering on disturbing. 

Right now Jack's constant paranoia about things and being super worried about Mac wasn't for nothing. 

After their day at the park, having a picnic and all around a happy day, there was one more message that put a damp on Mac's mood. He was getting tired from the constant stream of messages coming almost every day now. 

Why didn't this person just stop? 

They were back yet from another mission when Jack asked Mac to give him his phone to make a phone call, something about Jack's credit cards or other. 

Mac didn't think too much before he handed Jack the phone and went to shower and change. 

When he returned to his room, Jack was sitting on the bed, looking at Mac's phone and frowning like the phone offended him personally. 

“Jack?” Mac approached apprehensively, and deep down he knew what was about to happen. 

“Funny thing, while I was talking, something pinged. And you know me and my fingers, man, I always end up pressing buttons. So get this. I accidentally opened the message. And I was like, okay, no big deal, it happens, Mac won't be mad.”

“Why do I think this isn't everything?”

“Well, after that initial ping, there were two more messages popping up. Signed by an M.” 

Mac winced. He should have known that Jack would find out, eventually. The voice in his head was telling him that he should have told Jack from the start, but he missed that chance. Now he was about to face the consequences. 

“Jack, it's not what you think. I-” 

“Look, I'll give you the chance to explain. But hear me out. What I see here, and I am sorry, really am, that I had to go through your messages, but once I read the last three, my spidey senses started tingling.” 

Mac carefully sat down on his bed, purposefully not looking at Jack.

“What I see is a one sided conversation. And this person, whoever they are sounds like a wacko.”

“I know.” Mac sighed. “I was going to tell you, I swear. But I thought it was someone writing to the wrong number and it's not happening for long, so I-”

Mac's breath hitched as Jack gently turned him around. 

“Mac, breathe, pal. Take it easy, we have time.” 

“I'm so sorry.” 

“C'mere, hoss.” 

Jack pulled Mac in a hug and even though Mac didn't think he deserved to be comforted, he accepted the hug and leaned into it. 

“Feelin' better?” 

Mac nodded against Jack's shoulder, but he wasn't sure if better was the right way to describe how he felt. 

“I should be the one apologizing, though. I shouldn't have looked through your messages. That goes way beyond our boundaries.” 

“It's okay. I should have told you. I was going to, but… I'm sorry.”

“Tell me now?” Jack inquired softly and Mac was helpless in the face of Jack looking at him like that. 

“Okay. So, you can probably get the exact date from the messages when they sent the first one. I have no idea who he or she is. It's mostly harmless messages, like the weather and the sky and how pretty I am.” Mac could feel himself blushing. He was never the one to easily take a compliment. 

“What were the latest messages, anyway?” 

Jack handed Mac his own phone and Mac opened the messages app. 

_ “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” _

_ ~ M  _

_ “The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.”  _

_ ~ M _

_ “There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted.”  _

_ ~ M  _

“These are quotes from-” 

“The Picture of Dorian Grey. Yes, I know.” 

Mac looked up in surprise. 

“Don't look at me like that, hoss. Don't be so surprised. I read too, you know?” 

“I'm not surprised. I know you read. I just didn't know you-” 

“You didn't peg me as someone who'd read that particular book, admit it.” 

“You got it in one.”

“I'll let that one slide and pretend you didn't hurt my feelings, but joke aside, this is serious, Mac.” 

“I'm starting to get that.” 

”Only now. C'mon Mac, you know better than that. In our line of work, everything is suspicious.” 

“I know, but sometimes things just happen.” 

“Mac, this is not just a thing happening. It's someone that is trying to play a game with you. And I ain't no expert, but look at all the messages. Whoever this is, they expect you to answer. And they are persistent. A normal person would give up after being ignored for longer. I mean if normal even exists, but you know what I mean.” 

“I understand what you want to say. I just don't know. It feels like this is maybe someone professing their love to someone and if they have the wrong number… ” 

“First of all, this borders on the normal amount of messages you'd write to someone you are interested in, and they keep giving you the boot, buddy. I doubt whoever this person's point of interest is would be as lenient as you are. If they are not meant for you, specifically.” 

“Lenient?” 

“Well, maybe that's not exactly the word I was meaning to say, but there are things you can do to stop the messages, bud. I am old but I ain't that old to know you can delete them or block the number. Although I'd suggest you keep them. If whoever it is tries it again, we should definitely go to the police.” 

“Jack, it's nothing.” 

“It's not nothing, hoss. Whoever this is, they are clearly obsessed. Just, try and tell me some of those don't give you the creeps.” 

“I guess if you read them out of context… ” 

“Mac. You are smart and I love you, but you can be so dense sometimes. You can never be too careful these days. I'm not saying you should reply to them and tell them to fuck off. But I can tell that you are on edge. You have been for a while now. And I guess I know why now.” 

“Yeah, it started getting to me.” 

“I bet. If my phone was blowing up with messages like that constantly, I'd be like that as well. And whenever you get a message you are wondering who it is. Right?” 

“True.” 

Jack took a deep breath and then faced Mac, obviously gearing to say something to Mac. 

“I have a suggestion. And I know you are not going to like it. But I think we should ask Riley to try and track those messages. At least the phone number.” 

“Jack, no. I know what you'll do provided Riley finds some info on it.” 

“I can totally talk, hoss. Sometimes throwing fists is counter productive.” 

“See? I was right.” 

“If I have to do that, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I know you are a grown man, and you don't need me to fight your battles. Just, something about this doesn't sit well with me, y'know?”

“Believe me, I know. But I still don't think that we should do that. I'll back up the messages on my drive, then I'm gonna block the number and delete them. Far from the eyes far from the heart and all that.” 

“I don't like it. At all.” 

“Yes, I know. I don't like it as well, but if we are wrong and it's really something harmless, we are risking to go and bang on someone's door and worsen things.” 

Mac could tell that Jack didn't agree with him. That often happened with his overprotective best friend, but this time it felt like Jack was ready to fight Mac on it. For Jack, Mac's safety was topmost priority. And he would go beyond to keep Mac safe. 

“Okay. I'm willing to let this one slide. But if anything else happens, if you feel or see something that's out of the ordinary, you tell me. Got it?” 

“Got it.” 

“Promise me, Mac!” 

“I promise.” 

“Good. Now, give this old man another hug, will ya'?” 

Mac let himself be hugged again. And somehow, now that Jack knew about the messages, things somehow felt weirder than before. One of those feelings that settled deep inside Mac's gut and wouldn't budge. Maybe Jack was right. 

…

As the days progressed since Mac told Jack about the messages, Mac became more unsettled. He couldn't pinpoint what was making him feel varry about the whole thing, but it was similar to the feeling he got a while back. 

Someone was watching him.

And as a result, Mac was starting to become paranoid. 

And tight as a bowstring. 

Mac didn't like the way it made him feel. 

And there were Jack's looks. Mac was maybe too aware that Jack was watching him closely, not that Mac minded. He felt safer with Jack watching over him. But the way Jack held his gaze too long on Mac, Mac was sure someone would notice. And Mac didn't want anyone to know. 

But he couldn't exactly tell Jack to tone it down because then Jack would insist even more that Mac should report this. 

The emails started soon after Mac blocked the number. Mac almost told Jack about them, especially since they were excerpts from several books, mostly “The picture of Dorian Grey”. They were scanned pictures and not much text except the highlighted sections that were underlined with red sharpie. Mac could tell it wasn't a colored pen. It was weird to fixate on that fact, but at this point, he was ready to tear his hair out in frustration of how whoever this person was, just wouldn't give up. They just assumed that if Mac didn't reply to the messages on his phone, the next best thing was the emails. 

Mac kept getting the emails daily, and after the first few, whenever he saw ae from the same email address they were sent from, he archived them and didn't even open them. 

Sadly, he had no idea if he could block someone via email. He opted out of asking. He could handle it. He would just continue with adding the unopened emails to the pile of archived, unopened ones and hope that if he didn't open them and read them, or acknowledge them in any other capacity, that they would just cease to exist. 

…

When the phone calls started, Mac was already way past reaching the edge. He was snappy, angry and all around bratty with everyone because suddenly everything was too much. He wasn't picking up on calls because he had put his phone on silent, and when Jack called him out on it and the worry he felt whenever Mac wasn't answering, Mac just flipped him off. 

Mac felt bad about it afterwards, but at the time it felt so good to just let it out, scream and yell and get into Jack's face until he spent all of his pent up energy out on his best friend. 

Jack didn't ease up after that. It was like he had an x-ray vision and could see that Mac was holding out on something. Mac knew he was stepping on the imaginary red line, and that the second Jack learned of it he was in deep trouble. 

But how to explain to your partner that occasionally someone would call, and just breathe on the line while you asked repeatedly who it was and then you hung up? 

It all lasted until the landline phone rang at 3 am and Bozer was the one to pick up this time. Mac knew that it was one of the “empty” phone calls as he dubbed them even before Bozer hung up. Mac told him that it was probably a wrong number and that they won't call again, but after the same happened three nights in a row, Bozer started to get suspicious.

And Mac knew that Jack was being notified of the occurrences because the next day Jack had a talk with him. A really long one that involved lots of lecturing and Mac trying to compromise on it once again. 

Mac could tell that he was testing Jack's patience, and with right, because logically Mac knew that Jack was right. But Mac still had faith that this would resolve in and on itself. Besides who would go to such lengths to stalk Mac? 

Because that was what this was. And Mac couldn't deny that fact. 

The phone calls stopped that same day. 

…

Jack suspected Murdoc. And he was vocal about it. Where before neither of them talked about it, Jack now wouldn't shut up. It was annoying, but also understandable because it wasn't every day that your partner wouldn't acknowledge the danger of a potential stalker, even with all signs out there in the open. 

Mac could tell that Jack spent hours and hours on research and reading about stalkers. He wanted to make Mac see the danger, the threat of it all. And suspecting Murdoc came with logic. Murdoc was creepy, he always gave Jack the stalkery vibe, and the most important thing out of all was the way he always looked at Mac. With dark, predatory eyes, like he wanted to own Mac. Devour him like a three course meal. And that scared Jack more than any injury or potential injury ever would. 

It wasn't until Murdoc came to his house again and held him at gunpoint, threatening Nasha that Mac realized Jack could have been on the right track. 

…

Few months ago, when Mac suffered the knee injury on their op in Mexico, he went to Nigeria to help the people in that small village. He was having some time on his hands because of the injury and after the months leading to the injury and being called up mission after mission, topped off with a failed attempt at a vacation, Mac had enough. 

Once he was healed enough after his surgery, he headed back to Nigeria. He had to promise Jack and the team that he would stay in touch and try to talk with them at least once when they were all able provided they weren't caught up in a mission. They were still fearing Murdoc back then and Mac gladly made that promise. He wasn't looking forward to being separated from his family for longer than usual, but he was definitely looking forward to new adventures. 

So, instead of driving Jack up the wall, Mac left to clear his head. 

He helped the villagers as much as he could, but he made good on his promise for no strenuous activities. They were limited to what he could do without having to stand for too long and he regularly did the exercises the doctor suggested and iced his knee as prescribed. 

Mac even grew a beard that surprised them all, but he was definitely feeling the change (for the better).

He met Nasha, a wonderful young woman that was teaching the kids in the village. She was always open for more knowledge and she was enthusiastic. Mac befriended her quickly and soon enough he was helping her teach the kids as well. The little ones loved him and they all had so much fun. Mac didn't know what it was, but he kinda saw himself in Nasha. 

After his medical leave expired and he took additional two months to just recharge and relax, Mac came back to the States, but he kept in contact with several of the villagers, including Nasha. It felt good to have a friend on the other end of the globe and Mac looked forward to their skype calls and their emails. Sometimes Jack joined in and Mac knew that if Nasha decided to visit him or Mac took Jack with him back to Nigeria, Nasha and Jack would get along like a house on fire. 

And that was how Murdoc managed to get Mac to cooperate with his plan to get his son back. He made sure to get Nasha to the States cloning his phone and then he stored her away and forced Mac to help him. 

Mac could see the fear and the “I told you so” unspoken in the air as Mac was on his way to wherever Murdoc had instructed the GPS to lead them to, and Jack was all the way in LA, at the War Room, worried.

Mac trusted his partner, he knew Jack wouldn't betray his trust and tell the team. But those brown eyes looked at him with the promise of help. Jack wasn't gonna leave him hanging, Mac knew that much. And after all of this thing was resolved, Mac promised Jack silently that they'd deal with it together and press Murdoc for information, right before the connection was severed. 

Once they had Murdoc contained, and Jack and Bozer rescued Nasha, Mac knew what was going to follow. 

First, there was a lengthy apology about Jack not being there when Murdoc came to the house (which was, knowing the creep, admittedly not as accidental as Mac assumed). He had an appointment to get his stitches out. In the fallout of the Mexico op, Jack ended up with a shot to the thigh, the cop's gun going off accidentally as the round ricocheted and embedded itself in Jack. Jack had to be operated on and he was on medical leave for the foreseeable future. He was staying with Mac for the duration of the recovery. Jack had tried his apartment after a leg injury once. It was hell. So whenever he got injured from then on he was riding them out at Mac's place, and Mac was okay with it. 

After the apology and Mac trying to convince Jack that it was okay, Jack moved to the other important bit. 

The stalker. 

“I think we should talk with him.” Jack stated. 

“I've spent some time with him, I can tell you everything you need to know.” 

“Nah, this time I want to do the asking. You can go and catch up with Nasha. She was scared about you. That way you are safe and away from him.” 

“You know there is a good chance of him not being the stalker, right?” 

“I know. But that don't make it a good enough reason to not ask if he is. He is way off his rocker, hoss. I just want to make sure.” 

“Okay. You are probably right. Do that. I'll go and-”

“C'mere, you.” 

Jack pulled him unexpectedly in a hug and Mac melted into it. He didn't know he needed the comfort until Jack's arms wrapped around him. 

The tension was still present, and Mac was still so on edge, but he was glad to know that Jack was still Jack despite Mac being an ass to him.

…

Murdoc denied everything, and Mac knew he would. He had the brains and the drive to go after Mac, but he would die before he admitted to following Mac around and sending him weird messages and calling him at night. 

Jack was still not sure Murdoc wasn't lying to him. Jack wished Cage was around to interrogate him, she would know if he lied. 

However, every point of contact ceased after Murdoc was captured. Mac didn't want to celebrate a victory too early, but the reprieve from jumping over the sound of text messages and being anxious over phone calls, was welcomed. Mac felt safe enough to go about his normal business, going into town for groceries, as well as spending some time with his friends. 

Jack's birthday was coming up and as always Mac knew just what to get him. It was good to be back to his routines and to get his feet back under him. 

Mac didn't notice the person lurking closely to the aisle where he was trying to pick up Jack's favorite cologne. 

…

Mac was buying a cologne. Mark watched from a safe distance, pretending he was doing the same when in fact he was trying to garner what Mac was going to choose. 

Mark had to admit that he was angry when he tried to send a message to Mac's phone, but it returned back to him saying that it wasn't sent. He checked his phone again, but apparently the number blocked him. After what Mark went through to show Mac how much he cared about him, Mac went and blocked him. 

Mark decided that he would send emails next. He scanned some pages from several books when he got them from the library and sent them. He refrained from writing long messages, figuring out that Mac would like the short and to the point quotes Mark was sending. 

When he got no answer to the emails as well, the frustration made way to jealousy again, and he was really not supposed to get hung up over things, but he was, because he figured it was Jack that was holding Mac back from responding. 

Maybe Mark should have had to get rid of him before making any attempt. But Mark had an inkling Mac would never forgive him if he hurt Jack. And Mac would learn to not depend on Jack and trust Mark more.

Mark was biding his time by now. He could see that Jack was annoyed with Mac, and Mark was going to use the situation. One of these days. He just had to wait it out. Not too close after that Murdoc guy. 

Mark was watching, hidden behind a tree as the whole thing unfolded, and he knew he should have intervened, but at the same time he couldn't reveal himself before the right time. He berated himself for letting that man take Mac, but once Mac was back home, Mark put things into perspective.

He wanted to make everything perfect for Mac. He started planning, buying supplies, and perfecting his approach as well as when it'd happen. 

Jack stayed with Mac for a while before the incident happened, and he stayed after as well. So Mark had to factor in Jack in his plan as well. 

That was for later, though. Right now he was headed to the counter to pick up the same cologne Mac did. He had a plan for his next contact. 

Mark grinned to himself as he watched Mac leave, and his gaze held on to the way Mac looked and moved, wearing a pair of Levi's with a white Henley. If Mark was to be consulted, he would definitely suggest Mac to pick better pants. The Levi's did injustice to the fantastic ass Mark was sure Mac was hiding under those jeans. And Mac's hair… so long and so fitting. Mark couldn't wait till he had the chance to run his fingers through it. 

…

Mac made a detour to Jack's apartment to leave the present on Jack's table, and left Jack a message. Jack was in PT and after he planned to go back to his apartment and then drive to Mac's place for a celebratory dinner. 

Mac set on reheating the food Bozer prepared this morning before going to work. 

Once that was settled, Mac realized that he forgot to get beer so he drove out to their usual store. 

When Mac returned home, there was something on the porch. Mac could tell whatever it was, wasn't there when Mac left, so someone must have dropped it off while Mac wasn't home. 

Mac approached the place carefully and once he caught a sight of the items laid down on the porch, his heart started beating wildly in fear. 

There was a copy of “The picture of Dorian Grey”, a single rose and a letter on top of the book. Mac picked up the letter with shaky fingers and when he caught a whiff of the scent, it smelled like it was drowned in Jack's brand of cologne. Never, not once since Mac knew Jack was he bothered by the way Jack's cologne smelled. But it almost made him puke now, because of the note that was stuck inside the envelope and what was written on the inside. 

Mac picked up his phone and dialed Jack's number, PT be damned. 

…

The kid was hysterical. Jack couldn't blame him, he would have been as well had someone stalked Jack as well. But there was something in Mac's voice when he told Jack “He's back” that stopped Jack in his tracks and had Jack hightailing it out of the doc's office. No PT or anything else was going to hold him in the face of his kid being in trouble and distressed. 

Jack could only manage to spray some deodorant before he left, no time for showering. He could do that once he was at Mac's. It was pretty much the same brand as his cologne, so it had to do for now. Not that Jack actually used the cologne too much. But when they were off the clock he liked to apply it. 

He was thinking about it, desperate to get his mind off of the possible danger, of what Mac meant by his words, and the possible threat. 

But once he got in the house and he finally saw Mac, he wasn't ready for Mac totally flipping out. 

“Get in the shower, now!” 

Scratch that, Mac never talked to him with this tone of voice before. Jack was baffled. 

“Mac, what the hell?” 

“Jack, just do it. Get that smell scrubbed off of you, I can't stand it.”

“What? You never before-” 

“I'm not going to ask nicely next time. Go the fuck to the bathroom and shower already!” 

Jack couldn't hide the flinch at the way Mac talked to him. He was willing and ready to take every insult and yell as long as Mac never meant them like that. Jack knew Mac would never say stuff to intentionally hurt Jack and if there was something bothering him, Jack trusted him to say so. 

There was a reason for Mac's behavior. Whatever, he was going to deal with it once he showered. 

…

Jack hoped that the shower would help with his thoughts. It didn't. 

He was ready to just barge in and ask Mac what had gotten into him. The sight that met him when he left the shower broke his heart though, and Jack immediately switched to his usual self around Mac.

The kid was sitting on his bed, head hung low, his hands between his knees, shaking. Perhaps it was that sole fact that Mac's hands never shook that sent Jack into overdrive, but he forgot that he was fresh out of shower and only with a towel around his waist, but he was kneeling in front of Mac immediately, trying to figure out what was wrong. 

“Hey, Mac.” Jack spoke slowly, and quietly, his hand hovering over Mac, wanting to touch and offer comfort, but afraid he was going to startle Mac. There was a little, almost unnoticeable nod and that was all Jack needed to place his hand over Mac's neck and squeeze in reassurance. 

“I'm so sorry, so sorry I went off at you. I didn't mean to. But he, he left… um… this envelope and a book. And a rose.” 

Mac's breath hitched and Jack belatedly realized that Mac was crying. Before Mac could utter one more word, Jack pulled him into a hug. It was clear that Mac was rattled, he was shaking under his arms, and Jack barely made himself move in fear that Mac would shatter in a million pieces if he even so as breathed wrong. 

“Mac? I'm sorry to have to say this, but this is way past my comfort zone. He is clearly delusional. I mean, it could be a she as well, but I highly doubt it. Although we can't be too sure. We need to loop Matty in on it. The team too.” 

“Yeah, I know. I was going to tell you the same. And I know I should have done that two months ago. I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I thought that it would go away if I didn't pay attention. Why are people like this?” 

“That, I have no idea, hoss. But you got me. We are going to face this together. I'm with you every step of the way.” 

Mac clung to him and Jack could feel some of his skin give way to Mac's nails scratching for purchase on his back as Mac returned the hug. 

“You are okay. We'll figure this out. You got me, okay?” 

“Okay. I didn't mean to freak out. But it was just that… your cologne triggered it. Sorry.” 

Jack didn't understand what Mac was saying so when Mac untangled from the hug and reached for the envelope, Jack almost gagged. 

“Jeez, who got drowned in that thing? That's an awful lot even for me.” 

“I think that whoever he or she is, they have been following me as well. And they must be damn good because I would have picked a tail. Although I have a feeling someone's watching me sometimes. But people regularly stare at me, so…” 

“Oh, kid. I'm so sorry. What clocked you in on the following, though? Because I'm a shitty Overwatch then. I should have been able to pick someone following you. Us.” 

“These people are determined, Jack. It's hard to predict what they'll do even if they are not provoked or triggered. And to answer your question, I got you this cologne for your birthday. Bottle's at your apartment. I got it today, so unless he has broken in, there's no way he'd know about it. It's not so random.” 

Jack didn't want to admit it, but the fact was that they were about to face something bigger than they could have imagined. 

…

They weren't aware that Mark planted a listening device into the rose, and could hear all they talked about. He was very satisfied with how his plan was coming up. He wasn't happy with the way Mac and Jack spoke about him, but he would have all the time in the world to make Mac see. Once he got rid of Jack. For all this to work, Jack needed to be out of the picture. Mark was done waiting for Mac to realize himself. Jack was the obstacle here, taking Mac away from him with all the stalker nonsense, and how Mark was delusional when in reality he loved Mac very much. Jack didn't understand. 

Hopefully by the time he had Mac, Jack would regret ever thinking and talking bad about Mark to Mac. 

…

Jack opened the door for their takeout and he tipped the delivery guy. Once in the kitchen he placed the food on the counter and pulled the containers out, opening them up and leaving them to be ready for when Mac got around so they could eat. He cracked open a beer for himself, but before he could take a sip, he had to set the bottle down. His hands were suddenly shaking and his vision was blurring. 

Jack didn't know what could have happened to lead to him feeling off, but even through the haze in his head, he could tell he was being dosed with something. 

“MAC!!!”

With a mind-numbing realization Jack moved to warn Mac before his legs gave out on him and he dropped on the floor, knocking the beer bottle up as he went. 

“Mac, it's the delivery guy. D'n't open th' door.” 

Before he could do so much as move, Jack heard the front door open and close. Someone came up to where Jack was sprawled on the floor. Jack couldn't see them clearly, before they moved out of his field of vision. 

By then, whatever he was drugged with kicked in and a moment later, Jack passed out. 

...

Jack raced to the War Room as he explained what he needed from Matty. He knew he sounded like he was out of his mind, and probably even sounded like it, the longer he babbled about Mac being taken and everyone to be on high alert. He wasn't even supposed to be driving, God knew what the creep dosed him with. But Jack wasn't going to sit still while he mobilized practically the entire Phoenix Foundation. 

Jack could tell Matty was exasperated with him, but he'd take that over being alone with his thoughts. 

Jack geared up to face his team. He had to look them in the eyes and tell them Mac was taken, and that he practically let it happen, fell right into the guy's trap. His sight wasn't the best, but he was almost sure it was a he. And whoever it was that took Mac, he knew exactly what to do and how to steer things to make them happen the way he wanted to. 

Jack pressed on the pedal and rushed to meet everyone. He was going to dwell on the who and why later. 

…

“I'm so happy that you finally decided to wake up, Mac. It's been a long time coming. I mean, I would wait for you forever if I had to, but it took you a while to decide to contact me back. I thought to give you a little incentive.” 

Mac was still fuzzy from whatever he was drugged with, ketamine if he had to guess. His brain was waking up from the slumber he definitely fell in when this guy grabbed him from his house. The last Mac remembered, Jack yelled for him and there was a loud thump. Then the front door opened and closed and by the time Mac went to check what made the sounds, he was jumped and knocked down, and in the next moment he was injected with something. 

“I'm Mark. Hoping that you remember me, but if you don't, I'll refresh your memory.” 

Mac was still grasping at the reality of the situation, but the guy definitely looked familiar. 

And then it hit him. 

A morning run when the guy bumped into him and fell and Mac went down with the force of the hit and almost sat in the man's lap and crushed him.

“I assume you figured it out, right?” Mark was grinning now. 

Mac didn't see any point in denying that. He couldn't lie to save his life unless it was for work. And he was way off course being drugged. 

“I knew you were the one, ever since you smiled at me. You are so pretty, you know that. Such a lovely face. I could stare at it all day and not tire. And your soul is beautiful too. In case that wasn't clear. Sorry, I'm fumbling. But now that I've met you and have you in front of me, I can't contain my happiness.” 

Mac desperately wanted to say that Mark containing his happiness (more like obsession) went out of the window almost three months ago, but he knew that if he went with sarcasm he could get hurt for his trouble. 

“I assume you got my gifts. I thought I'd let you know in advance that we would elope, so you'd be prepared. Jack had to go first, though. Boy, am I glad that I saved you from him.” 

Mac really started to suspect that he'd hit his head on top of being drugged. Because this guy knew Jack's name as well, and he thought they were together, apparently. 

“We are not- He is my best friend, practically my father.” Mac sputtered. 

“Now, now Mac, you don't have to try and defend your relationship. You could be with anyone. But you have me now so you don't need anyone else. None of your friends deserve you. Least of all Jack.” 

Mac's heart was in his throat. This guy was really not having all of the right screws and by the way he talked, he was thinking that he saved Mac from those that didn't appreciate Mac. 

Mac only hoped that Jack had come off whatever drugs this creep used on him.and was rallying the troops. He hated to admit, but he was scared down to the bone. He told Jack once that people like these were unpredictable once before, but somehow along the way he forgot that and acted like he forgot about it. And Mac couldn't tell what Mark would do to him if Mac was to reply as Mac always did, sarcasm dripping from his words. 

“What's going on with you, Mac? You haven't said anything since you woke up. You got the message, didn't you? Silly me, you said you did.” 

“There is nothing I want to say to you, Mark. I didn't ask to be here. I didn't ask for any of this.” 

“You are just like Richie, I can't believe this! What is wrong with you?” 

Mark suddenly was on his feet and started pacing.

“I'm doing everything for you and this is how you repay me? Listen to me, Angus-” Mac bodily flinched at the use of his full name and that was even more disconcerting than Mark knowing Jack's name. “You can't see what I'm doing for you. I am here, going out of my way to give you what you need, what you deserve and you are acting like I'm a monster.” 

“Then why am I tied up? Why don't you just let me go if you want to show me how much you love me, huh?”

“Because you don't know how to appreciate what I have done and I need to have your full attention as I explain to you.” 

Mark slowly reached for Mac's hair and gently ran a hand through it. Mac recoiled at the touch, used to only have a familiar hand doing that for him.

“Shh, I know it was Jack by far that did this for you, but from now on it's me, okay? I am going to show you how much I care about you. You'll see.”

Mac felt dread settle in his stomach. 

…

"What I don't get is how did someone manage to take Mac with another of my agents in the house." 

Jack froze for a moment, knowing everyone's gaze was locked on him and feeling the judgment, the condemnation, the blame. He knew it, it was his fault, and definitely didn't need a reminder. Whether or not they found Mac dead or alive, it was forever going to be etched deep inside him. It was his fault and nothing would change the fact that whoever set his eyes on Mac now took him with Jack in the house.

The other voice, the one that sounded suspiciously like Mac, was telling a different story. He was drugged and incapacitated, there was nothing he could have done to prevent Mac to be taken after he ingested the drugs. Well, unless maybe insisting Mac tell the others about the stalker, but that was something to beat himself over for later. Right now, it wasn't about him. 

"You think I don't know that? I would give anything to go back to that moment and stop it from happening. But I can't, Matty. What I can is try and do my best to find him." 

There was something in Matty's eyes, sadness, maybe even regret, but Jack didn't want to think about it. He didn't want her to apologize for what she said, it was the truth after all. He didn't need placating, he just needed to find Mac. 

Jack sank in one of the leather chairs, trying to control his breathing. It wasn't time for panicking. He had to focus, had to clear his head. If they were to find Mac, he needed to be on the top of his game. 

Jack felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. He leaned into it even though he knew he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any kindness at the moment. But he didn't want to worry the rest of his kids so he put up a front for them. 

It was Riley and Jack almost broke down at her soft “Are you okay?”

…

“Don't act like you don't know what's going to follow, Mac. You are smart. I've noticed just how much every time I had a chance to watch you work and be extraordinary. Let me tell you, you are wasting your talent.” 

Mac couldn't help but feel sick at the prospect of this person following him around, noticing things and filing them away. 

Mac saw the shrine Mark had for him, the hundreds of photographs hanging on the wall hidden behind a curtain. The photo albums where each and every picture represented a happy Mac, smiling, laughing, goofing around. It was weird seeing himself through the lens of someone that had derailed from sanity a long time ago. 

“What is that even supposed to mean? I'm smart, not a mind reader.” 

“Well for being smart, you are so dumb. I'm talking about sex, dummy.” 

Mac felt like someone just poured a bucket full of ice cold water all over him. 

“Don't look so surprised. Isn't what people in love do all the time? They have sex, Mac, don't look so frightened." 

Mac couldn't help, but shudder at Mark's touch. Mark took that the wrong way, he thought it was from pleasure, so he continued to run his hand up and down Mac's arm, coming up at Mac's neck and caressing softly. 

"I'm gonna make love to you, the way you deserve, baby. And we are going to have so much fun." 

There was something sweet laced with something dangerous underneath as Mark advanced and took Mac's lips in a kiss. He kept saying he was going to be gentle, but all Mac got so far was slaps on his face and being tied up. 

Now, if he was able to convince Mark to let him go out of the binds, Mac could have a chance to escape. He hated that he had to play some attraction to the guy when all Mac felt was pure fear. 

When Mark released his lips to get some air, Mac saw his opportunity. 

"You keep saying how much you love me and you want to show it to me. How about you let me go out of these ropes?" 

"And then what? You get me knocked down and you run out of the door? Don't be silly, Angus. I am not that stupid. I can tell that the first chance you get, you won't stay here. Now, be a good boy and relax. There's no way out of this except accepting that this is happening." 

Mac gulped. He was busted. And he was alone with this deranged person. 

"Accept what? That you took me against my will? That you want to have sex with me? That you want me for yourself? This is not normal, Mark or whatever your name is!" 

Mark backhanded him and Mac bit the inside of his cheek, once again trying to work his bound wrists to budge so he could get himself freed. 

Mark straddled his lap and locked his thighs around Mac to keep him in place. 

"Stop squirming. You are just delaying the inevitable, Mac. I'm gonna have you one way or another. And I suggest you get yourself in the right mindset, because I've been waiting for this for a long time. And I won't let you ruin it for me. Got it?" 

Mac stared back at Mark, not deigning him with an answer. He just hoped that he conveyed his defiance and how much he wasn't agreeing with this guy's fantasy. 

"Now, I'm not a monster and won't go right in. I'll make sure you are all prepped and ready for me." 

Mac wanted to scream at the tone of voice Mark was using with him, but he couldn't. He felt like someone paralyzed him, because he realized too late that Mark had a knife on him. 

"Now, don't look so frightened, Angus. I'm just gonna help you out of the things you won't need." 

Mark cut through Mac's Henley and the look on his face while his eyes took in Mac's torso chilled Mac to the bone. He experimentally ran the blade over Mac's chest, and between his pecs, going so far as to get the knife so close to the waistband of Mac's jeans. 

"Fuck, you are so responsive. I should have known that with the right motivation, you would be right on track." 

"Why... why are you doing this?" 

"Are you crazy? I love you." 

"You think this is the way to treat someone you love? Kidnapping them?" 

"How do I explain this to you so you can finally understand it, Mac? The way you smiled at me that first time, it was magical. We were meant to be. And as everyone in that position before, we are now going to consummate our love." 

In a few swift movements Mark had removed Mac's henley, cut it up was more accurate, and then he did the same to Mac's jeans. 

Mac was shaking slightly, and it wasn't from the cold, on the contrary the temperature in the room was pleasant. It was from fear and what was about to happen to him. He was going to be raped, and there was nothing he could do to make it stop. Mark was anything if not determined, and Mac knew that nothing would change the way that guy looked at Mac..

It was a weird thing to think of right before he was about to be stripped fully naked, but Mac's brain was trying to supply him with cold, hard facts and fear. Mac was scared. 

If he only listened and he had Jack come with him to the closest precinct so Mac could report the stalking... 

Once every shred of his clothes was removed and Mark adjusted Mac in the position he wanted him in, something final settled in Mac's gut. 

Mark moved around until he came up with something and Mac realized too late that it was a dildo. It was big and Mac flinched bodily at the implication of the sex toy in Mark's hands. 

Mac closed his eyes, and tried to fight off tears. 

He got slapped for his efforts to hide into himself. 

"Eyes on me, baby. I didn't go to all this trouble just for you to not see any of it." 

"Please don't do this." 

"I said I'm not a monster. I'll treat you right." Mark continued to talk as if Mac didn't speak up. "I'm not crazy. I'll get you all nice and wet for me..." 

Mark leered and Mac whimpered as he watched the creep lather the sex toy with lubricant. Mac wanted to scream and tell him that no amount of prep or lube were going to make this right. 

"I don't want this! Please, just... don't do this..." 

Mac couldn't stop squirming and got kicked for his attempts to dislodge Mark on top of him. 

"No! Get off me!" 

Mark moved lower until he was positioned right behind Mac.

"Stop!!! Please, just stop. No no no!" 

Mac screamed. 

...

After, when Mark was done with him, Mac finally was able to draw in the first deep breath since the assault started. He could feel a fresh wave of tears washing over his cheeks. He was in so much pain he couldn't think straight. He tried everything. He pleaded, he begged, he screamed, but Mark wouldn't stop. Mark kept going until Mac could only whimper as the pain dulled but the burning increased. 

Mac was certain he was still bleeding, he could feel the warm trickle down his legs and he shuddered as the cold air made contact with his backside. His whole body was hurting, but his lower abdomen and back were the worst. Mac was sure that if he was to be freed right now, he wouldn't be able to right himself, let alone walk. 

Mac was left lying down on the mattress, his arms and legs still bound, lying in the mess Mark just made of him, and after Mark was done, he patted Mac on the thigh and disappeared somewhere. 

For all that Mac tried to escape inside his head, he couldn't. It hurt too much, every movement, every thrust tearing through him, every ache and his muscles burning as his body was used. It all kept him in the present, and Mac only wanted a reprieve. 

He only wanted to not hurt. To go back before and realize that the longer he didn't do anything, the longer Mark had to plan this, to take him and do whatever he wanted with him. 

Mac swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to push past the nausea rising and threatening to spill out of him. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing to throw up right now. The pain was unbearable as it was. He couldn't allow himself to lose anything more than blood. 

The bastard was back with a bottle of water, though and Mac was helpless against the way Mark manhandled him into drinking it. 

Mac knew that he needed fluids, so he accepted the water, the liquid soothing his rasped throat. Mac wasn't sure if he was going to be able to talk for a while with the way he screamed himself rough. 

In hindsight, Mac shouldn't have drank the water. It was probably drugged because the moment he finished the bottle, Mac was out for the count. 

…

"Can you open a new tab and let me work for a bit, Ri?" 

Riley was looking at Jack like he suddenly grew another head. The most she'd seen Jack with a computer was whenever she needed him or Mac to upload a flash drive to one so she could access data. 

"I can't explain this to you guys if I don't have the access. Just, please?" 

Jack sounded desperate enough that Riley handed him her rig. 

Jack typed in Mac's email handle and password and opened Mac's email and then in another tab he opened Mac's Google drive account. 

"You know Mac's password to his email and drive?" Bozer squeaked as he watched Jack work. 

"Yeah, and so does he. I mean he knows my passwords and the likes." 

"You have a drive?" 

"Who doesn't these days, Boze? Besides it beats having to cry over spilled milk, or in my case broken cell phones, right?"

"Oh yes, I got you there brother." 

"Here, Riley. You can access whatever you need to to do your thing." 

Riley was frozen in place for a while before she got to work. 

"It feels weird. Having to dig through Mac's email. I mean, I've done that before for cases and I'm aware it's a risk I take and violation of privacy." 

"But it really hits you when it's someone close to you you have to do it to, right?" Jack sounded detached. Or maybe it was the worry giving a way to the calmness Jack definitely didn't feel. 

"Right." 

"So, how long has this been going on, Jack?" It was Matty now that asked and Jack should have probably led with that. 

"A month give or take. Since I know about it. It was probably going for a while before that. I didn't exactly see when the first message was sent." 

Matty could feel the guilt in the air and now she regretted what she said even more. She could tell Jack beat himself up over it enough as it was. 

"I won't even ask why you didn't tell me, I trust it that it was Mac's call and you'd bite your ear off before you betray his trust." 

"That and Mac could be very persuasive." Bozer added. 

"You are right, Matty. I only learned when I accidentally opened one of the messages. And as much as I wanted to help and charge in like a bull... I had to let him decide." 

"I find it hard to believe that you wouldn't have insisted. Jack, Mac is missing." 

"You think I don't know that? And BELIEVE me, I WASN'T going to let it get to this degree, but I can't just trample on him and decide for him. He is twenty-nine, and as much as it hurts me to have to wait in agony now, there's nothing I would do differently because breaching that trust, that promise would be way worse than what we are doing right now.

"Despite popular belief, Matilda, I don't go and poke around in his personal belongings on a moment's notice."

“Maybe you should have. Because Mac is missing now, and it all could have been prevented if you just listened to those instincts you always rely upon and told me about what was happening!” 

“I take full responsibility for that, Matty. I know I fucked up. But we are kinda on the clock here, and we can talk about this once we find Mac, okay? Just… please. I know I have no right to ask you this, but…” 

Jack was aware that he sounded as desperate as he felt. He was past being worried about how that would look like. 

“Jack's right, Matty.” this time it was Bozer that spoke up. “We have to put everyone aside and find Mac. Then we can place a blame. But the longer we discuss who is guilty about what, the longer this person, whoever they are, has time to hurt Mac.” 

“I agree with Bozer.” 

Matty sighed. Her team was right. The priority was to help Mac and find him. 

“Then let's get to work, shall we?” 

…

The second time Mark came for him, (and this time Mac felt everything from the get go because of how much he was taut no matter what), his body kept locking itself in, even if the intrusion was eased up after a while of just shallow thrusting and the blood that started steadily leaking. Mac tried to take even breaths, but with being crushed to the floor while Mark moved inside and on top of him, it was hard to even take small ones. As the air was driven out of his lungs and without enough time to draw a breath in, black spots danced in front of his eyes. Maybe it was the drug as well that was still coursing through his system, but whatever it was, it knocked him out pretty fast so Mac wasn't aware much of anything after that. 

...

The third time in as many hours, Mac just closed his eyes and let the tears roll down his cheeks. Lungs burning with exertion and not enough air, his hands and wrists were so numb he wasn't sure he would be able to move them even if he was freed from the ropes. And the absolute fire burning inside him and the permanent pain that settled in his back and belly. With a startle, and almost a hysterical reaction, Mac realized that this must be how women felt during their periods. He remembered Penny and her awful week-long periods, sometimes missing school and looking like she went nine rounds with the best boxer on Earth afterwards. Mac had been glad he was never going to feel such pain. Although he was probably going to have to revisit his thoughts now. Because this felt like someone was trying to carve a path in his insides with a dull blade. It hurt and burned so much. 

Another awful realization, and really, Mac could go without them, thanks brain, but at one point Mac felt something give in under the pressure of Mark's dick inside him and the guy cursed above him as it probably made things worse because Mac could actually feel the blood steadily leaking now and the feel of skin against the tear on the inside walls. It was stinging and Mac howled in discomfort. 

Mac knew that sooner rather than later, blood loss could fuck him over worse than any other things could. He was exhausted, dehydrated, and famished. He wasn't sure how long Mark kept him wherever "here" was, but Mac was willing to bet it was at least two days, maybe three. And if he wasn't found soon, they wouldn't have to worry about going to the hospital to get a screening for STDs and take Mac to get him fixed. 

Mac decidedly did not think of Jack and him hurrying it up with his search, because a) Jack wasn't almighty even in the face of keeping Mac safe or finding him when Mac was kidnapped, and b) there were so many things to factor in for a search. Mac wouldn't hold it over Jack's head if they never found him before Mac perished. Mac knew Jack would leave no stone unturned until he found Mac, alive or dead, and Mac tried to focus on that, as the smell of sex and blood and sweat attacked his nostrills and in the wake of this, by now, most brutal acts out of the three, Mac finally let go and threw up. It didn't make him feel better, because everything hurt twice as much as he tried to expel the vile feeling through his mouth. But Mac doubted that things were going to get better than this. 

...

The fourth time the door opened, there was a familiar sound of steps on the floor.

…

Jack didn't stop until he came right to the door where he was sure Mac was in. It was the only room in the house of the creep, going by the name of Mark Darcy, a computer tech working at a library. 

Thanks to Riley's skills and her efficient search, once Jack gave her access to Mac's email and google drive (and Jack filed it away to talk with Mac about withholding information regarding the emails for later), she was able to trace the phone number after she hit wall after wall of encryption.

Once she was able to connect the email and the phone number to the same name, Jack was out of the door before Riley was even done with telling Jack the guy's address. 

Mac was in this guy's' hands for two days already, and Jack wasn't going to leave him alone with the creep for longer than it'd take to arrive from the Phoenix to the house. 

He quickly geared up, years of preparing for ops on a moment's notice had honed in a habit and speed that Jack relied on as he strapped on his TAC vest, and readied all his weapons. He wasn't going to take any chances. 

What Jack didn't expect to see behind that door was the shape Mac was in. It was one of the worst things he was ever going to see, and Jack knew it. He wanted to be sick. And could tell from the way the creep was grinning when they met finally, face to face. The knowing glint in the man's eyes as he told Jack that Mac is his now and whatever they had was severed now. Mac accepted that Mark was his true destiny and no matter what Jack did, he wouldn't be able to separate them. Jack knew that he was having to deal with a delusional person, but to listen to Mark rant on and on about him being here to help Mac see things and people for what they were? That just made Jack angrier. 

Faced with the state Mac was in right now, Jack got to work. He couldn't break, not now. The kid needed him to be calm and collected, although Jack felt anything but. He was raging on the inside, he wanted to scream and yell, but he didn't. Not while Mac was looking at him with those wounded blue eyes, begging to be saved. 

Jack carefully moved around the mattress on the floor, approaching from the rear, and decidedly not looking at what was going on with Mac and what the creep had done to him. There was blood, some of it fresh, some of it dried, the coppery scent permeating the air with other smells that told Jack of what happened here even without looking at the proof in front of him. There were shredded clothes on the side and Jack knew they were Mac's even before seeing what was left of it. 

Jack swallowed his anguish and sorrow and carefully cut through the ropes on Mac's wrists and ankles. He didn't know what to do. If he touched Mac he was doomed. If he didn't, he was doomed as well. It was really a time sensitive decision because he had no idea of when the TAC team would catch up on with him. He didn't want anyone to see Mac like this. It must have been hard enough for him to see Jack there and aware of what probably happened. 

Jack looked around the room, in a fashion he'd seen Mac look at things so many times before. Getting himself familiar with things he could use. Granted, he didn't have Mac's brains, but he was hard driven by the situation.

Jack tried not to make sudden movements as he went to fetch a blanket. He hoped the creep at least owned some blankets. After Jack found one that could serve the purpose to both warm Mac and shield him from prying eyes, Jack carefully removed his TAC vest and kneeled next to Mac. 

“I'm gonna cover you with this blanket, buddy. Get you warmed up.” 

Mac was looking at him with his blue eyes, tracking Jack's every movement, but slower. His pupils were dilated and his eyes were glassy. Jack guessed Mac was drugged still, and prayed and hoped Mac wouldn't hate him for what he was about to do. 

Hair was safe. It was always that one point of contact Jack had with Mac that felt comforting for both of them. But the moment Jack's hand reached to brush the hair off of Mac's forehead, Mac flinched and the sound he made resembled that of a wounded animal. Jack had heard enough of those to know how they sounded. 

Jack removed his hand as if burned. Suddenly that point of comfort between them was tainted. Jack wanted to scream and tear at his hair. God knew what happened down here, but whatever it was, it was enough to have Mac pull away from Jack. 

“I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, Mac.” 

Jack heard voices right in front of the door, and Mac seemed to have heard them and tensed. 

Jack didn't want to force Mac to move, yet, but he knew they had to move. The sooner Jack got Mac to a hospital the better. 

“Mac, I'm sorry to have to do this to you, bud, but we have to move you. Can you move, or do you need me to help you out?” 

Mac seemed like he didn't hear Jack, he was still locked tight and tense. 

Jack was going to hate himself for this forever, but he had to do it in order to keep his sanity. And Mac looked like he was seconds away from bolting even though Jack could tell that Mac wasn't able to move on his own. 

“I'm really sorry, Mac. Feel free to hate me, I already hate myself, nothing new there.” Jack felt a tear roll down his cheek, as he steeled against the need to be as careful as possible. 

He picked Mac up off the mattress and gently wrapped the blanket around him, careful not to be too tight and constricting with it. 

Mac made a distressed noise that went straight to Jack's heart, stabbing him like thousand little pins and needles. He never wanted to be the cause of pain for Mac. He always vowed to protect Mac. Jack was basically acting like a continuation to the pain already inflicted, but he needed to shield Mac from further hurt and despair if the team was about to get inside. 

Jack pulled Mac against him. Mac made the wounded noise again. Jack felt Mac hitting him with his hands. Mac was trying to claw at him and Jack was okay with it as long as it got his boy the reprieve he needed. Mac started sobbing and Jack held Mac as Mac let it all out. He held Mac as he screamed and cried, until Mac sagged all of a sudden, trying to breathe through his tears and heaving sobs. 

“It's Jack, buddy. Jack's gotcha. I'm here.” 

Jack could feel more than see the way Mac shifted and then Mac buried his head in Jack's neck. Jack pretended Mac breathing against his pulse point wasn't tickling him and a fresh onslaught of tears welled into Jack's eyes. 

“Jack.” 

“Yes, Mac. It's me.” 

“You came.” 

“Of course I did.” 

“I didn't know if you would. He hurt you.” 

“Nah, he just drugged me. I was out for a while, but I'm okay. We are worrying about you, okay?” 

“Where is he? He was just here. He said that he would.” 

“He is in custody. Don't worry about him now.”

“I'm sorry, Jack. I couldn't stop him. He… he…” 

Mac suddenly stopped and went rigid in Jack's embrace. 

“Mac, hey, listen. And listen very well. This is not your fault, you hear me? Not your fault. You are safe again, he won't hurt you again, I promise.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, really. We got him.” 

Jack felt Mac exhale against his neck and Jack didn't have the heart to tell Mac that he wasn't going to be able to stop the guy from hurting Mac in his dreams, and the nightmares to follow. That the marks he left on Mac were far more than just physical and no promise Jack was going to make would make them disappear. 

“Let's get you checked out, Mac. Okay?” 

Mac nodded weakly. Jack carefully picked him up and carried him out of the room. 

...

Mac was seeing him everywhere. He knew that he was going to have to voice that at some point, but he wasn't ready to talk about anything, yet. He wasn't sure if he was ever going to be ready to talk about what happened. Or what Mark said to him. As well as all those times he was supposed to "notice" him. 

Once Mac realized when was the exact moment they met, he remembered all the places he'd seen Mark at after. At the grocery store with Jack when he could feel someone watching him. At the house, when he looked out of the window and the car was leaving. At the running trail again, several times. The store where he got the six pack just before he found the book and envelope. At the museum, on walks, during the picnic where they had fun and laughed, hidden behind a tree. 

As the list went on and on, and Mac cursed his great memory for remembering every little detail in technicolor, Mac realized that he wasn't focusing as hard as he thought on the people surrounding him. Somewhere along the way, he let his guard down because he was familiar with the grounds, safe with the people with him. And even without the whole stalker thing going on, Mac realized that there were so many things that men looked at wrong. And Mac was ready to change that, maybe even try to raise an awareness. Because it wasn't just women that had to be careful and look over their shoulder. Men should have been careful as well. Maybe if he just listened to Jack and his gut... 

Mac exhaled shakily and once again sweeped his gaze over the bustling around him. There were too many people, too little space, and without risking a glance from the safety of Jack's embrace, he knew there were too little exit points for him to find so he'd know where to escape from if the need arose. 

Jack held him a bit tighter to his frame, and Mac knew that Jack held himself back. He was worried that the one wrong touch would send Mac into a spiral and frankly, Mac knew that anything could set him off right now, he was hyper aware of everything going on around him. But he trusted Jack, and he knew that Jack wouldn't do that to him. 

...

Mac didn't remember much of his first couple of days at the hospital. He had to be heavily sedated after he freaked out and went at one of the nurse's throats. He remembered Jack lunging at him and the way he flinched and Jack stopping at the last minute before he tried to talk Mac out of gently. He could read the fear and regret in Jack's eyes, Jack didn't mean to scare Mac, he just wanted to prevent him from hurting someone inadvertently. And Jack didn't know that in that moment didn't see a nurse, but his tormentor. 

Jack was very patient with him. Mac could see that Jack wanted to do everything right, he was tense all the time, overthinking his every action, being as gentle as possible with Mac, attuned to Mac's needs and his pain. What Mac missed the most was Jack talking. Mac couldn't tell what it was exactly, maybe it was the fact that Mark got the drop on him with Jack in the house, or maybe the fact that they should have reported the stalking before it got to this. But something about Jack felt off. He was withdrawn and distraught. He was smiling at Mac and making small talk whenever Mac was actually up for it, but other than that, Jack just sat in the chair next to the bed and stared off into the distance. 

Mac was also aware of how much he was aware of the things around him, and how much he focused on the sensations and how people acted around him that he completely blocked out the fact that he was in pain and unable to move without assistance. Or maybe it was the meds. Definitely the meds. Possibly his brain trying to protect him. 

The fact remained that Jack wanted to talk. Mac just wasn't sure about what. He knew that Jack would lecture him at some point, about Mac's safety and how next time it came to it, he was damned if he didn't listen to Jack. But at the same time, Jack always had an enormous box labeled guilt inside him that he wallowed in whenever Mac got hurt. And currently Jack was stuck in a loop in that box. 

Mac knew that they both ached for some comfort and answers to questions they had no idea how to pose and talk about. They couldn't avoid it forever, not with Mac living through it and Jack seeing the immediate aftermath of what transpired. And Mac was aware of the act itself, the word, the meaning, but he couldn't say it. He couldn't acknowledge, yet, that he was violated in one of the worst ways possible and that he had to deal with it from now on. There was no way back to before it happened. 

He closed his eyes and tried to ride out the pain, listening to Jack's breathing next to him. He knew that whatever happened from now on, he got Jack next to him. Jack was always going to be there, regardless of what Mac was going to do. And not just because of his call of duty, but Jack actually wanted to stay. He chose Mac, and Mac knew that everything was going to be bearable if only Jack was around. 

...

Jack was at a crossroads. 

He knew that this was far from over, it hadn't even started, yet. The enormity of the situation hit Jack the moment Mac fell asleep in the hospital bed on day three of his stay. 

Mac was unresponsive and generally in and out for most of the first two days. Jack was grateful for the reprieve, because he was hurting from just watching how much in pain Mac was. Jack couldn't quite wipe off the image of Mac tied up, naked and bloody on the mattress in that room of horror. The little whimpers and moans of pain Mac released as Jack helped him out and as he carried Mac to the car and later to the hospital. It was tearing Jack's heart in pieces as he watched nurses and doctors all over Mac and his kid panicking and lashing out. It was painful to watch and Jack started to think that he'd have a permanent lump in his throat, full of emotions, that was choking him every time he swallowed his grief, his pain. His guilt. Because no matter what anyone said to him, Jack knew that he was to blame for this. Matty came to him after Jack relayed them the information he had on the stalker and apologized for blaming him, and she said that she absolved him from the guilt because Jack was drugged himself, incapacitated. And that Jack could deal with and was aware he wasn't able to fight against the drugs. But he was at fault for not insisting Mac to report this, for not pressing harder. Maybe Mac wouldn't have been taken and... Jack didn't want to say it, it was horrible enough seeing the state Mac was in immediately after, but he was going to have to address it sooner rather than later. 

Before Mac was raped. 

And once it was out there, floating in the air, the tension ever present for both of them to drown in, Jack knew that the recovery process would be long. And was going to be there. No matter what. He wasn't going to leave him again. Ever. He would wait for Mac to come to him, slowly. Jack had time. As long as Mac needed. 

...

Which in hindsight was wrong to wish for because after a week spent at home with Mac barely speaking two words to him in all entirety, Jack was ready to go outside and scream until he didn't have a voice anymore. It was excruciatingly painful to watch Mac struggle, but every attempt of Jack's to help was prevented or aborted. They skirted around each other and Jack wasn't sure how much any of them would take before it blew over. They were both highly strung out, Jack could feel it. But they were too stubborn to act on it. Mac was too proud to ask for help even though he was in a desperate need of it, and Jack was... Well, he was afraid that Mac would freak out if Jack so much as touched him. And Jack wanted nothing more than to hold him close and in an embrace and keep him safe forever, but it was wishful thinking at this point. 

Mac didn't react to anyone that came to visit him. Riley and Bozer were grief stricken and they wanted to be there for Mac, but Jack thought the best course of action for Mac right now was for Jack to be the only one around Mac. Jack didn't feel guilty for doing that, he knew that Mac would be grateful for Jack herding them all away until he was ready to face them. They were both the type of men that wanted to protect the others from seeing them like that. Vulnerable, hurt, in pain, helpless... the list went on and on. And Jack figured out that they would eventually learn about what happened to Mac. Jack knew that Mac would want to be at least a little bit more coherent for that part of the reveal. 

It was seemingly the right decision, because Mac relaxed a bit after Jack told him that no one would come unless Mac gave explicit permission. 

At first, Jack talked with Bozer and suggested he should stay with Leanna. He didn't want to tell Bozer about what happened, although Jack knew Bozer was smart and could connect the bits and pieces. His kids were smart, Jack knew that. But still it felt like he was going to cross some imaginary line if he talked about what happened to Mac with someone else. Not that Jack actually knew the details, but he could guess. And he was good without the details, as long as at the end of the day Mac trusted Jack to have his back even after Jack failed him. 

Bozer was very understanding and listened to Jack and his suggestions. Jack could see how worried Bozer was. 

Riley seemed to be taking the news better, and with a horrible realization, Jack could tell it was something she'd seen before, in prison. It was one of the things everyone knew, but they didn't talk about. Besides, Jack didn't know if he was the right person to talk to about that. 

Jack had enough nightmares about the way Mac looked to add more to his already battered soul. But if nightmares were the price he had to pay for failing Mac, then so be it. 

Jack was overthinking it again. But he was worried. Mac was in the bathroom, Jack heard the shower half an hour ago, but Mac wasn't out of it, yet. It was the first time Mac was able to move around enough by himself without Jack hovering, and Jack didn't want to antagonize Mac even more by keeping watch over Mac while he was in the bathroom. He didn't want the kid to think that he didn't trust him. 

And Jack wasn't even thinking about what path Mac could take if he spiraled and was left alone with his thoughts. Jack had to trust him. Mac wouldn't do anything stupid. 

Jack jinxed it because in the next moment he heard a blood curdling scream and the sound of something shattering. Jack sprinted back to the bathroom and without thinking he opened the door. 

…

Mac couldn't look at himself in the mirror. He had no problem with it before, not that he was thinking too much of the way he looked before. He took good care of himself and his body. He spent most of his childhood being tiny and then suddenly at 17 years of age he hit a grow spurt. It was painful and a killer to Mac's wallet because he was constantly buying new clothes, but it was definitely welcome after being seen as the little kid everyone wanted to bully at school, just because of the way he looked and how smart he was. Although bullies never needed a reason if they wanted to pick at Mac. 

He learned to get by and to ignore it. 

The point was, he never really saw himself the way others saw him. Jack made comments about his look often, but they were said in a good faith, Jack was never one to look at anyone and shame them because of the way they looked. Mac couldn't do better than keep his body healthy and fit. He was scrawny and with a slender frame. And he guessed if you looked at it that way, he could say that he was pretty. 

But his body was never seen as an object before. And it wasn't that Mac wanted to see himself like that either, but all he could think of was the way Mark looked at him, the way he touched him, trying to stake a claim on Mac's body. The way Mark enjoyed telling Mac he liked the way Mac looked, the words he used to describe how he looked and the amount of time he spent with his hands running through Mac's hair. Mac just couldn't take it anymore. Looking at himself in the mirror, for the first time in a week and a half led to him staring at someone he didn't recognize anymore. 

Mac was looking at a stranger, a shell of who he once was, a person he didn't really know, and didn't want to meet. 

He was probably going to do something stupid, but once he got the seed of the thought in his head it was hard not to respond to that calling. 

Mac picked up the scissors, bringing them closer to his hair, and chopping off a part of it, letting the strands fall off to the tiles. He continued to hack off hair until his hands started shaking, and he couldn't take it anymore. Mac screamed and lashed out at the mirror, hitting it with his hand, grunting on impact as the fist connected and all he could see was the way he really looked and felt. 

Shattered. Fractured. Exhausted. Rattled. 

Splintered into fragments. 

…

Jack didn't think twice before he opened the door to Mac's bathroom (more like he was going to almost get it off its hinges, but who was going to care at this rate, right? Jack could probably fix it, but Mac was more important now). 

Once Jack was at the door, he was met with the sight of Mac, completely naked, holding scissors in one of his hands while the other was bloody and formed in a fist. 

The mirror was shattered and there were blond tufts of hair on the tiles at Mac's feet. 

Mac was glaring at the shattered mirror like it personally offended him and Jack was frankly scared. For what it all might mean for Mac and why Mac did it. 

Jack knew he shouldn't have looked further down than Mac's head, but he couldn't help his eyes. They were drawn to the myriad of bruises and welts on Mac's body. And Jack really didn't mean to stare. But it was hard not to notice. 

It wasn't like Jack hadn't seen Mac naked before. They had seen each other in various states of undress, years of working together and being friends, having to share a space together, treat wounds that led to one of them stripping in front of the other, it wasn't strange or weird. They knew each other well enough to go past the awkwardness. And Jack didn't mean to look so surprised and distraught. He knew the worst scars were underneath, but Jack couldn't help his thoughts. All he could think of was, what was Mac seeing in the mirror. Was he seeing faded traces of finger shaped bruises, bite marks and hickeys, pressure sores and welts? Or was he seeing a sign of ownership, belonging to someone that had no right to do that to one of the best people Jack knew. The person that wouldn't hurt another person unless he had to defend himself in the process. The person that always found the good thing in people and never gave up on loving people no matter how much people knocked him over and over. 

Mac was the personification of sunshine, and Jack felt privileged to be allowed in Mac's inner circle of people he trusted the most. Jack had no idea if he deserved that, still. 

Jack wasn't aware he gasped until Mac suddenly turned around and piercing blue eyes connected with his before Jack looked away. He wanted to give Mac some privacy and not look like a creep, staring at his best friend's naked body. 

Jack was about to turn around and leave Mac alone, when Mac spoke. 

His voice was raspy, still. 

“Do I disgust you so much you can't even look at me anymore?” 

Jack felt like someone slapped him and turned around so fast he almost banged himself on the door. 

“Mac, what are you talking about?” 

“I'm aware I look awful. You don't have to tell me that. I thought you were different than that, though?” 

“Mac?” 

“You averted your gaze when I turned around. Does the sight of my body put you off so much?” 

“M-” 

“Answer me, damn it!” 

“Mac, no! Never! I just…” 

“Why won't you look at me? It's still me, Jack. Or now that I'm like this you suddenly don't see me as before?” 

“Now, now, stop. That's not it, Mac.” 

“Then what is it Jack?” 

“I don't want to remind you of him. I don't want to make you feel like I stare at you without your permission. I was just… all the bruises and marks on your body. Jeez, Mac, this is awful and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I let this happen.” 

Jack hung his head, being unable to look at Mac. He didn't deserve to. 

“Jack? I'm sorry. This is not your fault. It's just… he… he called me pretty. And I don't know about you, but I feel as far from pretty as it can get. He had this weird fixation on my hair. He was constantly touching it. Wouldn't let me breathe without telling me how better looking I was than his ex and that we didn't know how to appreciate what he did for us. 

“It feels like I'm still trapped in that room and he is controlling the way he sees me and I couldn't… I can't get past it, Jack. It plagues my dreams. It's awful. I want to get past it, get over it, but every time I close my eyes, I see him. I hear him in my head and I see him everywhere. He was everywhere, practically living wherever I was at any given moment. 

“He knew all of us by name. If I just listened to you. If it's anyone's fault, then it's mine. I basically let him do this to me because I didn't want to report the motherfucker.” 

“I'm gonna stop you right there, hoss. He is the only one at fault here. You said it yourself. Unpredictable, right. He wasn't going to give up anyway.” 

“You don't know that.” 

“Neither do you. But what I know is you. And I know you fought him, even while you were put in a situation where you couldn't fight him physically.” 

“Jack…” 

“Am I right, Mac? Because I know I am. You couldn't have. He had you in a position where you… I wouldn't say you were helpless, but he made it harder for you to get out and kick back. It's on him, not you.” 

It was as if a string was pulled and Mac went down on his knees, hard, as skin touched cold tile. He finally released the death grip he had on the scissors, and hugged himself, closing his eyes and crying out. 

Jack was next to Mac in a heartbeat. He enveloped Mac in his arms, holding him as Mac wailed and sobbed. 

“Get it out, hoss. I'm here. Not going anywhere. You'll have to kick me out if you need me to leave you alone. I am right here. You can yell, scream, punch me if you want, but don't hold it in. You'll be okay.” 

Jack didn't know what other nonsense left his lips as he rocked back and forth, Mac in his embrace, holding him close. Mac was letting him and they both drew strength from the other, holding on to the jagged pieces of their persons and not letting go. 

Mac burrowed further into Jack, shivering slightly and it hit Jack that Mac was still naked. 

“Bud, I think you should get dressed up. You are shivering.” 

Mac shuffled and as he untangled from Jack's embrace he realized how much his hand actually hurt. 

Jack seemed to notice that at the same time and shook his head. 

“So, who won. The mirror or you?” 

“The mirror. Ow.” 

Jack gently picked Mac's hand into his and he couldn't hide a smile. 

“Think we agreed we leave the punching to me hoss.” 

“Not my brightest moment I have to admit.” 

“Here, let me get this sorted, then clothes, and we'll go from there.” 

“Deal.”

…

Once Mac's hand was wrapped and Mac was dressed in loose sweatpants and a t-shirt because anything more constricting was hell on his lower belly and his waist, he carefully lowered himself on the couch, needing to talk about something with Jack. 

“Hey Jack, about what happened in the bathroom, I'm sorry I went off at you like that. It's just, I thought that you didn't want to be around me anymore because of what happened. So I kind of pulled out from you? Thought I'd make it easier for both. It backfired spectacularly.” 

“Why would I pull out?” Jack asked incredulously, as he lowered himself on the couch next to Mac, leaving a safe distance between them. 

“The only reason why I didn't hover is because I had no idea how you'd take it after all of that. I thought that I'd remind you of it if I kept close. And I know I can be clingy, but I didn't want to crowd you. Especially in the aftermath.” 

“I understand why you'd think that. And I know this may sound weird, but I don't mind you being around me. Or touching me. I mean, I'll probably freak out again at some point, but you are familiar. Safe. You'd never hurt me.” 

“You put an awful lot of faith in someone like me, hoss.” 

“Someone that always puts me first before his own needs and problems? Who is brave and loyal and carries a guilt inside him the size of Texas? The only person that tries his hardest to offer comfort whenever I'm down? Jack, I'll always trust you. Don't even think about it. I mean it. No matter what happens, I trust you. You didn't let him rape me, that was on him completely, okay? I know what you are thinking. It was as much out of your control as it was out of mine. Got it?” 

Jack nodded, with tears in his eyes. Mac knew it'd take a lot for them to both heal from what happened. They both got out of this with new scars. Mac was the rape victim in this, but Jack had to deal with the aftermath and fallout of what happened, watch Mac's struggle to come up for air, to punch his way out of the darkness his mind was stuck in. To fight for air and for some relief on his bruised soul. 

Mac knew that his recovery was going to be long and probably he was always going to carry the brand of being used in the worst way possible a person could be after torture and dehumanization. Of being taken against his will and violated, being denied the right to fight against the assault, and the most important questions out of all, the consent he didn't give being taken and twisted in a way that fit his tormentor. But he had Jack on his side, and probably the whole Phoenix Foundation that would burn bridges if so much of a hair was missing from his head. 

Talking about hair… 

“Hey, Jack, I was thinking… ” 

“Don't hurt yourself.” 

Mac chuckled at the familiar banter and had to hide the trembling of his right hand. 

“Could you maybe trim my hair? Not much, just fix the thing I hacked off? I wasn't thinking straight when I did it. I was only thinking of the way he saw me and not how it's my hair and that he shouldn't be a factor in how I keep it. But maybe something shorter than this?” 

“Absolutely, I can do that. Are you sure.” 

“Yes.” 

“You will tell me if you need to take a breath or my touch is too much, okay? Don't brave it out just for my sake.” 

“I will. Can we do it now? Get it over with?” 

“Sure. You want to do it on the deck? The bathroom is a little bit of a war zone at the moment.” 

“Shit, I should probably clean that.” 

“Nonsense. You should be resting and recuperating. I'm not letting you think of that again, now get yourself comfy on the deck. I'll be right up.” 

Mac took a deep breath before he lifted himself off of the couch. It was still hurting, although the worst of the pain was easing up so he could move on his own, albeit slowly. 

“Sir, yes, Sir.” Mac saluted and he heard Jack laugh on his way to the bathroom. 

…

Half an hour later, Mac had a new haircut and Jack couldn't resist so he took a selfie with Mac. Filed away on drive for safe keeping, Jack was reveling in the first smiles he saw on Mac ever since this whole thing started. They had so much to go through, yet, but they were on a good path. Jack was positive that they would be good. They had each other. 

He could also tell Mac was gearing up to ask him another thing. 

“Jack? I know that this might sound even more weird, but… could you stay with me tonight? I didn't know how to ask for this because it's still recent, and in theory, I know you are safe.” 

“But you were afraid of your reaction in any case, and you also were afraid to be alone with yourself while you were still coming to terms with it and hurting.” Jack finished for him. He had his own fair share of nightmares. 

“Pretty much, yes.” 

“I'll stay with you tonight. Or whenever you need me to. I'm here, and I mean it.” 

“Thank you, Jack.” 

“No need to thank me, Mac.”

They were sitting on the deck, with Jack occasionally sniffing Mac's hair. 

“Are you doing what I think you are doing?” Mac scrunched his face into an adorable grimace. 

“Maybe? It just smells so nice after I used the fancy products and all.” 

“You are weird, man. But you are right, it does smell good.” 

“What did I tell you, huh?” 

Mac leaned into Jack, as Jack pulled him closer with his arm around Mac's shoulders. They were watching as the flames danced in the fire pit. 

Jack thought Mac was drifting off and he was about to suggest they head to rest when Mac spoke up, voice quiet. 

“Are we ever going to be okay, Jack?” 

“I hope so. I can't promise you that, because that's something beyond my ability to commit to. But I believe so.” 

It was all the assurance Mac needed in that moment. Things were far from going back to normal, they never would because things weren't the same anymore. But they had each other to lean on while wading through this, and they were determined to get on the other side. 

Mac settled even deeper into Jack's hold, content to stay there for a little while. In the familiar comfort his partner offered without question. And Mac was right where he wanted to be at that moment. 

With Jack.

Safe. 

Home. 

Everything else could wait. It wasn't over, yet, but this was the beginning of their healing process. 

“I'm so glad we got you back.” Jack whispered into the night. 

“I'm glad you didn't give up on finding me.” 

“I'd never. And you know that.” 

“Yes, I know.” 

It was all that Mac needed. And it was enough for now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
